I’m trying to get grounded. I’m going through another one of those ‘things-seem-to-be-spiraling-out-of-control’ phases. Thank goodness they only happen now and then. You probably know what I am talking about. I know I’m not that unique. So I am reaching, stretching, and trying to find things to hold onto.
I know I am tremendously blessed, and to whom much is given, much is expected. But sometimes things seem to pull and stretch me so thin that I ache.
So what am I thankful for?
* – a busy, hardworking husband,
* – beautiful, loving, independent-minded children
* – our big, turn-of-the-century home
* – family and friends and all they entail
* – Grace, Mercy, Hope and Love
* – knitting, my therapy
* – my overfull, under-exercised tum
* – and my new laptop, so that I can sit here in the quiet, wee hours and vent, rant, rave, whine and no one (that I can see) will roll their eyes, tell me they know how I feel or have it worse, or will condemn me for how I feel.
I’m so frustrated with where I am at – and I want to be an example for my children – especially at the ages that they are currently. I have dreams, but the children are the first of those dreams. Does that mean I should be happy at that and not strive for more?
I think I need to make some choices, some hard choices, and streamline my life a bit. Focus on just a few things, and excel at them, rather than screw up a gazillion things.
This is not a pity party – no invitations, no R.S.V.P.’s – it’s more of a sorting out of my mind, into typed words. So, I hope this didn’t bore you. I hope you found something to relate to – something to help lessen some of your frustrations and confusion along with mine. And for now, we’ll take one of our balloons from the growing bouquet of them, and release it into the air, along with a little bit of the weight off of our shoulders.