Hi! Gonna cover this update for mom, ’cause I think she’s kinda busy right now. : D

~ Angel

p=. ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

I’ve been super busy lately, and sometimes I just have to make myself stop and remember…

I’m a kid.

I need to take time to stop, play, dance, and relax. I don’t have to worry about my future or my career. Sometimes I feel ready to collapse and it’s all because I think too far ahead. Everything has its time, and I need to remember that my life is still set in my first few highschool years, not in college or years later into my life. I don’t need to worry about everything now.

On the 10th of June – this year – , I started writing down something while I was stressing over my math. I do that often; I automatically shift gears when my subconscious knows I need a break. Usually I fight it. We all do that. But this time it changed me, and I’d hate to think about what would have happened if I hadn’t started the introduction to my book “I’m Sorry” that afternoon. It was originally titled “Angels Fall First”, which wasn’t really the title I wanted. I knew that. It was just the song that inspired it.

It was a sad story, about Clarence Morgan, a man who spent too much of his life trying to fix the past and get revenge on the people who had ‘ruined his life’, and didn’t stop to realize until near the end that his life could have – and would have – been fine if he had just tried to carry on. Instead of being wrapped up in what he couldn’t fix and couldn’t change, he could have just went on and done fine. But he didn’t do that. Clarence went after these people and killed them, including some other innocent people who got in the way. In the process, his friend – Kagayaki, another main character – got caught up in it, and tried to save Clarence by covering it up and acting as if _he_ had been the killer.

The best things that ever happen to us can creep on us, can’t they?

Kagayaki took the blow, sacrificing _his_ future for his friend. Now Clarence realizes what a mistake he’s made.

But it’s too late.

Ever felt that way? Even if it wasn’t a life-changing thing, ever wondered how you would have come out of something if you had made the decision that had seemed to simple to work?

Ever felt you could have saved someone or something by just keeping your cool?