Over and over again

Angel here again! : D Finally kicked my mom off so she would go play dice and not make me sit and wait. ><

p=. ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

I often stop and look around me, wondering how everything has turned out the way it is today. So much has brought us here. All of us. If I were to try and describe everything, then I would probably end up crashing the computer. I could turn this into another book, honestly I could.

Maybe I should. Hm. That would be interesting. A book based on us.

It would detail ‘Uncle’ Dale’s rebellious teenage years, with his loud rock music and his habits of acting out just to be acting out. Then it would continue to how he met Kim, and how they got along right off the bat. How, even though his divorce wasn’t final, they just fit together. It was incredible, I’m sure.

Another part would tell of Dad’s journey from a hard life with his abusive and alcoholic stepfather, his siblings that he watched each of die as he went on, living life on the party side until he met Mom; she was fifteen and he was twenty. He was uncontrolled and only attending high school because he’d promised his mother he would graduate. She was trying to move on from her father’s alcoholism and his PTSD, and he was trying to live life as much as he could while he had it. Because he didn’t think he’d make it to twenty-one. But he did, and August 1st will be the 24th anniversary of when they first began dating. 24 years since they decided to give it a try.

Yet another section for Gramma, who is now trying to make things work with her third husband. A woman with independence in her mind and hurt in her heart from all that she’s been put through. Her and Grampa are really in love. I know that, because I remember their wedding and how happy they were when Grampa sang to her. Now he’s on the road all the time, wishing he could be home. And she’s at home, wishing he could be there.

Then I’d tell of Aunt Metta, how she’s trying to make life as good as it can be for her five kids, but sometimes it shows how hard it is for her to do it alone now. We know she knows it’s what’s best for her, for the kids. But I know she knows she still misses him and loves him, and wishes everything could just be okay. Her journey towards happiness is begun again, but she always has a place to come. A home that we won’t let anyone take away from her if we can help it.

The last part would be about me, I think. How I have been trying to take on the world since I was very small, wanting to do it myself but never ever ever wanting to be alone. To feel alone. To feel like no one cares about what’s important to me. I’m still working through it, and it’s the most exciting but upsetting journey I’ve taken so far. Maybe, by the time I get to this point in the book, I will have found out myself. And a few other people I’d really like to help along too. Okay, more than a few. I know I can’t fix the world. I just want to help.

But now, I mustn’t start any such book. Because I’m getting a handful out of the book I already have. XD Well, I’m gonna go. Kevin is looking really, really, really bored, and I guess I should find something for him to do…

Take care,
~Angel

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.